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______ Be Kind Coaching- Online Parenting Help ______ MegAnne Ford- Certified Parent Coach

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MegAnne Ford, Be Kind Coaching LLC

🤔Please share!🤔 . This week I hope to debunk some common myths that surround positive discipline. So when you hear the phrase Positive Discipline- what does it mean to you? What do you think it means when applied to your life? What are your fears around learning more. 😳 I get it I am asking for some heavy duty vulnerability right now. But stick with me and let’s unpack some of the beliefs that surround this method and let’s get things back on the right track. 🤗
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads. Out there. While growing up some of the things I loved about having my Dad. 1. He has an endless amount of random facts- like a sponge. In college I would call him and just ask for a random fact. 2. He would drop me off and pick me up exactly on time. All the time. Which was really predictable but also annoying when coming home from a birthday party- my Dad was always first. 3. As a teen he would drop me off at work he would always say “Have a great day” I remember exactly 2 times he didn’t say it to me and I dropped a pizza and spilled a pitcher of beer on those days. . #Repost @megannerocks with @get_repost ・・・ My Dad knew Carl Sagan. #drunkhistory
🎤 mic drop moment🎤 . I still remember the child I truly felt this quote with. I had been working with this child since the summer. He was about 3 1/2 and was quite physical at times. He was traveling through the school feeling completely overwhelmed and the staff had begun to feel burned out. 💕 Enter me finding him one day and locking eyes and knowing that we were soul connected. My purpose in that school was to advocate and stand up for him and push for others to understand how to connect to him. That he wanted to connect to his peers around him. He was just having a difficult time and that was resulting in a lot of “bad behavior” and aggression. But it wasn’t because he woke up everyday and thought while eating his breakfast: “Geez, I am so excited to go to school and create chaos and frustration for myself all day” 💕 In meetings they would talk about all the different tactics we need to employ. Ignore him, punish him by taking away play time, humiliate him by calling him out in front of the class, remove him and have him go to the directors office, all of these were adding layers and layers of stress into a child’s life who felt stressed. It wasn’t the solution. The solution was actually quite counterintuitive and that was teach him HOW to be in the classroom and meeting expectations. Keep him near his peers and coach him though HOW to work together in those frustrating moments. It was the HOW part that he needed help with. 🗺 He needed a map, a guide, some help. 🚨 Not punishments, labels, judgments. 💗 I remember a breakthrough day during lunch. When he was upset he would typically do some sort of physical action- throw something, hit, stomp. He and I were working towards replacing that behavior with something verbal- “use your words to tell me, I will always listen” and I remember the day it clicked. We were sitting at lunch and something triggered anger and he stood up and right in my face screamed “I AM SO ANGRY AND I HATE YOU!” And I smiled back and said “I hear your anger but I’m so proud you use your words!” 😳 He stared at me like that. Shocked. He was now able to express himself in a different, more effective way. I’ll never forget it.
⏲Time Vampires⏲ . Social media, Netflix binges, tantrums- all time vampires. Moments of time sucked away with or without your awareness. ⏱ When I first start working with parents often times they are pressed for time. Their time is precious. Which is why I love the use of my Zoom digital platform to do all my coaching from! It allows for pockets of time to be carved without worrying about traffic, getting dressed or finding a sitter. 🕰 I also like to share that I am not adding anything onto your docket, I’ll just be asking you to try things differently. So instead of battling all your children’s battles we’re going to allow them to start battling them with your support. My aim is to actually off load responsibility from you and shift it to where it needs to be- with your children. ⏱ So, what would you be able to do if you knew how to de-escalate tantrums and meltdowns quicker. Imagine all that time! 🎛 Real words from real clients: ❗️On bedtime: “Okay, it was so weird- he just...went to bed” ❗️On tantrums: “Knowing how to approach that scenario made it so much easier for me not to join the anger.” ❗️On mealtime: “We actually talk now. And if they don’t want to talk, we don’t- but no more bite-for-bite negotiations!” ❗️On sibling fighting: “It just works, it really really works. I didn’t think it would. But it does.” ❗️On big emotions: “Understanding the lid flip, just that alone,has helped our family tremendously” ⏱ Testimonial: Don’t hesitate to reach out to MegAnne with your parenting needs. Her practice is constructive and beneficial to each member of the family. She breaks down issues with a concise kindness and delivers results that you can see and feel almost instantly. She truly is the crown jewel in her field.
🧠What is SEL?🧠 . SEL stands for social emotional learning. This is the teaching of soft skills like awareness, acknowledging, and traveling through emotions. Teaching children how to identify and use these emotions in healthy ways. 🧠 Students learn how to solve their own problems. Teachers are able to empower children to work together to find solutions to their disagreements. Bullying lessens. Grades improve. Connection in the classroom creates an easier teaching environment for teachers no longer needing to manage all the students disagreements. 🧠 I love helping parents learn how to use these tools in their own lives. Just last night my client shared over and over again “It really works, it’s amazing. It works.” Using the pro-social skills I teach parents to use with their children, spouses, and bosses really work y’all! 🧠 Something in this info graphic that really stands out to me is the Columbia University finding that for every dollar spent on social emotional learning you have a return on investment of $11!!! 🧠 This is one of the first things I share. I know investing in this type of work can sometimes feel expensive but imagine what an $11 return of investment will feel like in your life! Social emotional learning gives you back your family. 🧠 And that’s priceless.
💛My hard battle is not your hard battle💛 . Let’s talk about validating feelings right quick. Validating feelings is just confirming to the other person that you hear and understand what they are feeling- not that you agree with what they are feeling. This gets tricky when feelings are shared with us and we don’t think they should feel that way. Are you with me? 💛 So for the sake of example let’s work through an example- it’s the day after your child’s birthday party where they received a ton of new toys- they say “I have nothing to play with” how do we respond? 😬 When we validate feelings- this doesn’t mean we agree with- just means we hear what they feeling. As irrational and illogical as it may be. 💛 Invalidating: “Are you kidding me, you just got all new toys yesterday- you’re so ungrateful” Validating: “Oh sounds like you are bored, and feel like you have nothing to do right now” 💛 Do you feel the difference? Maybe- or maybe not. Let’s use another example. 💛 You come home from another difficult day at work where your desk-mate ate garlic and onions and you HATE garlic and onions. You share these feelings when your partner asks “how was your day?” 💛 Invalidating: “Oh, it’s not that bad. People are allowed to eat garlic and onions, you’re being ridiculous and too sensitive.” Validating: “Geez, I know how much you hate that smell, sounds like you a difficult day because of that smell lingering.” 💛 Imagine how it feels to feel invalidated vs validated. Any change? 💛 Yesterday I picked Jason up from work with his bike that needed to be loaded into the car. I said “do you need any help?” as a nice gesture figuring he would say “no” but this time he said “yes, please” 😳 I felt annoyed. In my head “really, can’t you do this yourself? I didn’t really mean it” but then caught myself and thought “clearly for one reason or another he just wants to do it together, and that’s okay” and calmed myself down before helping. I didn’t know why he answered “yes” other than he did and now it was my duty to live up to my offer. Build up not knock down. 💛 This is a constant practice.

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