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Awareness is the First Step to Growth

positive parenting Jan 11, 2024

Let's start with the Golden Rule, a universal concept that encourages treating others as you wish to be treated. 

It's like having a common thread woven through various religions and a picture-perfect vision of harmony. 

The key lies in awareness—have you thought about how you want to be treated?

 

Key takeaways

 

  • Positive Parenting aligns with the Golden Rule, emphasizing self-awareness and accountability.
  • Similar to specifying a destination when hailing a cab we need have clear goals.
  • Safely challenge any vague goals, promote awareness, and invite growth by acknowledging the need for change and learning new skills.
  • Positive parenting focuses on impactful moments amid imperfections.

 

 

This is where reflective, conscious, or positive parenting comes in. 

It's about slowing down, understanding our desires, and holding ourselves accountable for treating others as we wish to be treated.

Awareness is the first step, making us aware of our actions and ensuring they align with our intentions.

When we claim to be doing our best, my next question is, are you enjoying the outcomes of your best?

Change and growth are inevitable, but growth requires intention and purpose. 

Change happens effortlessly, but growth involves maturity, knowledge, and skill development. 

Age alone doesn't dictate behavior; awareness does. Without awareness, we navigate blind spots, much like driving without mirrors. 

Reflective parenting, focusing on self-awareness, helps us identify blind spots, fostering growth and positive parenting practices.

In the parenting journey, awareness guides us through change and growth, ensuring we navigate with intention and purpose. 

Grounded in self-awareness, becomes our mirror, revealing blind spots and empowering us to embrace the beautiful messiness of real, imperfect relationships.

 

 

 

The cost of not using Reflective Parenting  

Think about our resources: time, energy, money, and emotional bandwidth. 

Imagine receiving a task without clear instructions, completing it, and then being told it's wrong without proper feedback. That's a waste of resources.

Let's relate this to hailing a cab in New York City. When you just say, "Take me to a store," it's like not having awareness of your destination. 

To optimize resources, we need clarity: What kind of store? What are your goals, preferences, and needs within that category? 

Reflective parenting is akin to being specific about our destination, ensuring we invest our parenting resources wisely and purposefully.

Parenting is a journey, and like hailing a cab, knowing our destination enhances efficiency. 

Positive Parenting is about refining our goals, understanding preferences, and identifying needs to ensure our parenting efforts are purposeful. 

Just as specifying "grocery store" doesn't suffice, saying "I want to be a good parent" lacks the clarity needed for effective resource utilization. 

By embracing Positive Parenting, we transform vague goals into clear objectives, making our parenting journey more intentional, rewarding, and resource-efficient.

My goal as a Positive Parenting Coach is to support you on the journey from defining your goals as a parent and making plans to supporting you as you hold yourself accountable.

 

What is the Goal of your Parenting?

Parents often approach me with a common desire: they want their kids to listen or be kind. 

It's akin to being a cab driver and having someone say, "Take me to a store." 

Yet, to truly guide them, we must peel back the layers and get specific about the desired outcome. Reflective parenting is like relying on mirrors—they guide and protect us. 

Parenting without awareness often leads to frustration, expressed as, 

"I've tried everything, and nothing is working." 

This indicates blind spots, trying to initiate change without clear destinations, and a lack of awareness of our toolbox.

Expressions like, 

"I'm doing my best" or "Just tell me what to say" 

Reveals limitations in our toolbox and a capacity threshold. 

It reflects a lack of awareness and accountability—blocks to growth. 

When we feel powerless, saying, 

"I don't know what else to do," 

We're trapped in a mindset that hinders awareness. 

Clinging to familiar tools, we resist change, hoping for a different outcome. Positive Parenting breaks this pattern, inviting growth by acknowledging what needs to change, learning new skills, and practicing them with accountability.

It's a process of planting, cultivating, and nurturing the seed of awareness for personal and parenting growth. As a Parent Coach, that is my job and my passion. 

 

 

 

Positively impacting your children.

 

Positive parenting is about intentionally creating positive, impactful moments for your children. Not perfection, life is not perfect. Life happens in the imperfect moments, and most of the time, those moments are the most impactful. 

It emphasizes moving beyond positive intentions to actual positive impact, even if the process feels uncomfortable. 

The discomfort, similar to looking into our rear-view mirrors, can trigger resistance. Yet, it's in this discomfort that genuine growth and learning occur. 

Stepping into the challenge, whether unlearning or embracing the beginning, opens us to new possibilities.

Avoiding discomfort might lead to surface-level changes, but it hinders deep growth. 

Steering clear of emotions like tears or anger limits our potential for learning and acquiring essential skills. 

Imagine these aspects as interlocking rings—awareness, education, and practice. When parents share struggles, it often boils down to a lack in one of these areas. 

Reflective parenting involves navigating this trio, recognizing the importance of self-awareness, gaining knowledge, and putting it into practice for meaningful growth.

 

Where are you in rings of reflective parenting?

Thinking about it this way, if we lack awareness, it's like driving without knowing when or which tool to use. 

It's that feeling of having tried everything, yet nothing seems to work. 

This signals a need for awareness, a need to explore those blind spots and invite in the awareness work.

For some, it might be about education

They know when they want to practice a tool, but they keep using the same ones, feeling like they're just winging it. This indicates a need for more education and a more varied set of tools to choose from. 

And then there are those who know when and what to do. They have new tools, but the practice is missing. They're aware and equipped but are not implementing it

Creating spaces for accountability and support becomes crucial in bridging this gap in reflective parenting.

This is the service that I offer. If you want to begin today, The Understanding Us Series is a great way to start the work.

 

Is it time to dive into Reflective Parenting?

How can you tell when it's time to dive into some awareness work?

Look out for common signs like persistent complaining about the same issues, repeating mistakes, or playing the victim and blaming others. 

These signs act like warning lights on your dashboard, signaling the need for attention. 

Avoidance is another indicator; it's like knowing the mirrors are there but choosing not to look. When we avoid, it's an invitation to explore when we're ready to grow. 

Additionally, missing follow-through, relying on threats or bribes, and constant chaos and stress are signs that it's time for some awareness work. 

If any of these signs resonate, consider it a friendly reminder to bring awareness, explore options, and embrace the journey of reflection and growth in your parenting approach.

 

How do I become a reflective parent?

It's crucial to articulate your parenting goals and consider if you have spaces of accountability outside of yourself. 

Trusted mirrors can help you navigate challenges, offering unbiased perspectives and helping you find blind spots.

Reflective parenting involves disrupting your own confirmation bias—finding evidence to prove what you already know. 

 It's about making observations, considering interpretations, and challenging existing narratives. 

 

For instance, when a child cries, rather than assuming one cause, consider various possibilities like feeling upset, hurt, or overwhelmed. 

 

Embracing reflective parenting means engaging in this ongoing process of self-awareness, seeking trusted mirrors, and disrupting biases to navigate the beautiful complexities of parenting.

 

You can explore the many ways I support parents with these positive parenting links.

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