Limiting beliefs you might hold as a parent

Parenting beliefs are taught as we grow up. But unfortunately, we hold on to these beliefs until we decide to unlearn them or learn new ones. So, if you have ever felt stuck in parenting your strong-willed child, you feel like you're doing "All the things and nothing is working," we will explore if you have limited parenting beliefs causing some of that stickiness. 

 

Takeaways

1. Parenting beliefs shape our actions, and recognizing and changing limiting beliefs can lead to more effective parenting.
2. Limiting beliefs are often in our subconscious, affecting our parenting without us realizing it, but unearthing and rewriting them can transform our relationships with our children.
3. Building a deep emotional connection with your child is more important than trying to change their behavior through punishment or reward-based approaches, and it can be achieved by replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

 

What is a limiting belief?

The Conscious mind is the part of our awareness that we control. These are our active thoughts, our choices, and our logical decisions. On the other hand, the subconscious mind is the part of our brains that is on autopilot- they are out of our control.

Carl Jung described this as our shadow- the parts of us that we are not aware of, thus kept in the shadow. And our limiting beliefs live there. Our limiting beliefs will keep us stuck until we excavate them and rewrite them to be an empowering force in our lives.

 

Common Parenting Beliefs

The child must change. So much of the content I see other parenting coaches and Instagram accounts share are tips and tricks to change the child, punish the child, or reward the child for their naughty or good behavior or cause the parents to think they are bad parents.

I would argue these beliefs have been taught and might seem like the right way to handle these situations. But, it neglects the NEED for a deep and meaningful emotional connection between you and your child.

Some common limiting beliefs are:

 "Children are naughty, and their behavior is bad,"

 "time out is better than spanking,"

 "Boys will be boys,"

 "Terrible Twos," one of the most damaging, is

 "You are their safe space."

Beliefs are told repeatedly, and they become glued to our parenting choices.

 

What can we do about these limiting parenting beliefs

Connection with your child is the foundation of any excellent discipline diet- and the key to building a long-term, solid, and rewarding relationship with your child. And, dare I say, Strong Willed Children are more sensitive to these relationships.

Strong-willed children CRAVE connection.

But there is something that literally can pull the rug out from under you. No matter all the fantastic things you do, books you read, and podcasts you listen to, the things that can act like cancer and rot the relationship from the inside-out- are limiting beliefs.

Many amazing parents hold on to beliefs passed down to them that undermine everything they do to move forward.

No matter how many experts they work with- it won't work.

No matter how much they pour in and work to absorb- it will all be wasted energy unless they unroot the limiting beliefs that are driving their subconscious mind.

 

New Parenting beliefs to start repeating to yourself 

It's not until we become aware of these beliefs that we can create new beliefs that will help guide our feelings, thoughts, and, ultimately, our actions!

I want to share with you the three top limiting beliefs I see and how I would invite you to rewrite them and begin working into your subconscious!

• "I am in control of my behavior."
  • Instead of: "I am in control of my child's behavior."
• "Good parents seek help and support."
  
  • Instead of: "Good parents are born."

• "I am in control of my happiness."
  • Instead of: "I am supposed to make them happy."

All of these statements help us release beliefs that cause us to feel a sense of inadequacy. We can let go of saying in our parenting, "I can't do that," "I am not capable," and "I am not enough." 

 

Questions to further your Positive Parenting Journey. 

• "What area of your parenting life is not where you would like it to be?"
  • "Why haven't you changed this part of your life already?"
  • "Why do you believe this?"
  • "What will happen if you don't change this belief?"

Now, write a new belief that will help align you with your goals.

Limiting beliefs creep in and are there to keep us safe- but they can shift from being adaptive to maladaptive quickly- and when it comes to your parenting relationship with your children, that is one place you want to keep track of what's influencing your choices and actions!