Becoming a better parent is possible and within reach. Breaking toxic parenting or relationship cycles is manageable. It takes hard work and awareness. I will share with you 3 helpful beliefs to adopt as you begin your Positive Parenting Journey. These are hitting us below the surface and will help pivot our outward actions from enabling to empowering!

 

The Behavior Iceberg: Navigating Below the Surface

Before we delve into the three beliefs, let's visualize the Behavior Iceberg—a metaphor that illuminates the visible and concealed aspects of our behavior. Above the water, a mere 10% represents observable actions akin to a child's behavior. Beneath the surface lies the hidden 90%—the realm of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that guide our actions.

This metaphor encourages us to refrain from getting entangled in the drama of visible behaviors and instead connect with the underlying currents.

Understanding the Hidden 90%

Fixers, Controllers, and Loners: Common Parenting Mistakes

Reflecting on common mistakes like fixing, controlling, and parenting in isolation, we recognize the pitfalls that stem from misguided beliefs. The fixer seeks a happy child, the controller desires an obedient child, and the loner relies on instincts. However, these beliefs often lead to power struggles, hurtful words, and increased challenges.

Be Kind Coaching recognizes the depth of the Behavior Iceberg and provides tools to navigate the hidden currents for both parents and children. Through courses and community support, parents learn to understand and address the underlying beliefs driving their actions. Be Kind Coaching empowers parents to break free from common mistakes and forge a positive path beneath the surface.

 

Episode 3.2

The Three Empowering Beliefs: Pivoting Towards Positivity

Belief #1: "I am in control over my behavior."

Successful parents, aligned with the C.L.E.A.R. approach, understand that their behavior is their responsibility. They resist the urge to control their children and instead focus on self-control in challenging moments. Taking radical responsibility, they strengthen their emotional intelligence, seeking support when needed and refusing flimsy excuses.

Be Kind Coaching provides a supportive community where parents learn the C.L.E.A.R. approach, emphasizing radical responsibility. Through online coaching and tools, parents gain insights into managing their behavior effectively, promoting emotional intelligence, and fostering a positive family dynamic with a hands-on approach from Parent Coach MegAnne Ford. Within the programs, there is an active coaching portion that parents participate in that allows them to witness the impact of the C.L.E.A.R. Method firsthand. 

 

Belief #2: "I say what I mean, and I mean what I say."

In the realm of positive parenting, integrity is paramount. C.L.E.A.R. and Kind Parents recognize that trust is built from consistency. They speak the truth, maintain boundaries, and avoid double standards. Strong-willed children thrive in environments of consistency and fairness, and parents thrive when they commit to these principles both publicly and privately.

Be Kind Coaching guides parents in building trust through consistent and clear communication. With online courses and coaching sessions, parents develop the skills to align their words with actions, fostering trust and creating an environment where strong-willed children can flourish.

 

Belief #3: "There is much I don’t know."

The journey of parenting is an ever-evolving process for C.L.E.A.R. and Kind Parents. They embrace continuous learning, investing in personal growth through therapy, coaching, and training. Staying curious, asking questions, and being coachable define their approach. They acknowledge the vastness of what they don't know, humbly dropping their ego to learn and grow for the benefit of their family.

Be Kind Coaching encourages a growth mindset through educational resources and community engagement. Parents can access courses, expert advice, and a supportive community to enhance their parenting skills. Be Kind Coaching empowers parents to embrace the learning journey and seek guidance on their path to positive parenting.

 

Adopting these empowering beliefs becomes the cornerstone of Positive Parenting. Challenges morph into opportunities for learning and growth. As parents commit to this inner work, they pave the way for their children to follow suit. 

Our beliefs guide our actions. To change our unwanted actions, we need to take a look at the beliefs that are driving those actions.  

Are you aware of the thoughts and beliefs that influence your behaviors?