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Be Kind Coaching | Certified Parent Coach | Positive Discipline | Parenting Tips, Advice, and Support
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Be Kind Coaching | Certified Parent Coach | Positive Discipline | Parenting Tips, Advice, and Support

Be Kind Coaching- Online Parenting Help

Day 4

Be Kind Coaching | Certified Parent Coach | Positive Discipline | Parenting Tips, Advice, and Support
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day 4: Using Powerful Words

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Be Kind Coaching | Certified Parent Coach | Positive Discipline | Parenting Tips, Advice, and Support

Online Certified Parent Coach | Online Parenting courses | Positive Discipline Educator | MegAnne Ford

Featured
What is The Holiday Season REALLY Costing You?
Jan 1, 2019
What is The Holiday Season REALLY Costing You?
Jan 1, 2019

I recently read that the average parent spends $330 on presents per child, per year. With that investment, how much gratitude is being felt.

Jan 1, 2019
When Parenting Children, Slow is Fast and Fast is Slow
Dec 18, 2018
When Parenting Children, Slow is Fast and Fast is Slow
Dec 18, 2018

When parenting children- fast is slow and slow is fast. Four steps to teaching children effectively how to teach children how to do the things we want them to do!

Dec 18, 2018
Habit #2 Begin with the End in Mind
Dec 5, 2018
Habit #2 Begin with the End in Mind
Dec 5, 2018

Begin with the end in mind. Powerful message. Today I share some thoughts on this often overlooked practice.

Dec 5, 2018
Hi, Friends- I Feel Good!
Nov 29, 2018
Hi, Friends- I Feel Good!
Nov 29, 2018

Monthly Parenting Parties, Group Parenting Classes, Parent Coaching and everything in between! 2019 is going to be AMAZING!

Nov 29, 2018
I Want More Inclusive Conversations!!!
Nov 1, 2018
I Want More Inclusive Conversations!!!
Nov 1, 2018

I believe that to be inclusive means to include everyone and accept everyone. I love seeing brands show up with inclusive advertisements and I want more of them. There is so much we can learn from our neighbor and learning from people who are different from us is one of the best ways to grow.

Nov 1, 2018

Join my hive!

Insider events and offers- the one newsletter that will never bore, drown, or overstep!

We respect your privacy. Duh, all the time.

Thank you!
Was yelling in your house the norm?

In mine it was. So normal that I thought it was the only way people did things.

Yelling when I made a mess.
Yelling when I got a poor grade.
Yelling when I tormented my sister.

I remember the short term effectiveness of the yelling, get it done- and get it done NOW.

When I started working with other people’s children and around other adults- yelling was my knee jerk reaction. As soon as I saw something go wrong- my pulse rose and I would shift into anger so quickly and raw.

It wasn’t until I realized that yelling actually just inspired fear- which was masking itself as compliance. But wasn’t changing the motive.

They were cleaning up because they were scared- not because they needed to clean up.

Learning how to remove the quickness of yelling allowed me to focus on the motive. Once I could address the internal motive, then the task became done so quickly and with little pushback.

And then something unexpected happened. I started to really enjoy being around children- like a lot- because they are pretty rad with their ideas and narratives that will change the world.

Slow things down, focus in on connection, build the missing skills for child and adult, and cash out on different consequences.

Consequences of love, responsibility, accountability, motivation and drive. Instead of the consequences of compliance, defiance, revenge, hurt, and estrangement.

Ready to dive deep? Go to https://www.bekindcoaching.com and check out the 5 Days to Less Yelling Challenge. It’s the perfect place to start!
Stress. Flips. Lids.

The many gifts of stress:
Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain, Gritting, grinding teeth, Stuttering or stammering, Tremors, trembling of lips, hands, Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms, Light headedness, faintness, dizziness, Ringing, buzzing or “popping sounds, Frequent blushing, sweating, Cold or sweaty hands, feet, Dry mouth, problems swallowing, Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores, Rashes, itching, hives, “goose bumps”, Unexplained or frequent “allergy” attacks, Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea, Excess belching, flatulence, Constipation, diarrhea, loss of control, Difficulty breathing, frequent sighing, Sudden attacks of life threatening panic, Chest pain, palpitations, rapid pulse, Frequent urination, Diminished sexual desire or performance, Excess anxiety, worry, guilt, nervousness, Increased anger, frustration, hostility, Depression, frequent or wild mood swings, Increased or decreased appetite, Insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams, Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts, Trouble learning new information, Forgetfulness, disorganization, confusion, Difficulty in making decisions, Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed, Frequent crying spells or suicidal thoughts, Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness, Little interest in appearance, punctuality, Nervous habits, fidgeting, feet tapping, Increased frustration, irritability, edginess, Overreaction to petty annoyances, Increased number of minor accidents, Obsessive or compulsive behavior, Reduced work efficiency or productivity, Lies or excuses to cover up poor work, Rapid or mumbled speech, Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness, Problems in communication, sharing, Social withdrawal and isolation, Constant tiredness, weakness, fatigue, Frequent use of over-the-counter drugs, Weight gain or loss without diet, Increased smoking, alcohol or drug use, Excessive gambling or impulse buying.

Check out the story highlights where I talk about the 4 main triggers of stress and the 3 levels of stress.

Being stressed is not one size fits all- but the effects of chronic stress affects us all with great cost.

I help parents reduce their stress.
Flipping through those pictures did anything feel misaligned?

I know it was uncomfortable- I did it on purpose. To highlight a point.

We know pesticides on food is not a good thing. We know fossil fuels hurt the ozone. We know to have a healthy body we must work out. Then why do we allow ourselves to hold on to beliefs that the way we treat our loved ones can stay toxic?

Every relationship is trying, taxing and overwhelming when we rely on our own force to drive them. White knuckling through them holding on to the toxic patterns.

I get it. I was there too. Holding my breath, rolling my eyes, blaming the other person for whatever label I wanted to assign them. But what I was really saying is “I love you, I just don’t know how to do it.” As soon as I released the fear behind having to do it all, be it all, make it work. In leaned into learning tools that helped improve the relationships around me.

This is why my clients say that everywhere in their life improves. Because how we show up in anger with our children, probably mirrors how we show up in anger with our partner/boss/coworker/parents/siblings.

Learning how to travel through anger, resentment, overwhelm and frustration is how I help my clients grow.

Because in the end this is your family- and you and your family deserve the best.

Because just like the havoc of pesticides, fossil fuels, and never working out will cause in the future- so will the toxic relationship skills.
Action. Taking inspired action.

Set the goal, get support, stay accountable and make steps towards getting what you want.

The BIGGEST hurdle my clients face is giving them permission to raise their hand and get things back on track.

Waiting until you read one more book, try one more strategy, wait until their next birthday- that’s time moving in the opposite direction.

Several years ago I was talking with a Mom of a 2 year old- almost 3. She knew things were not where they should be. They were having difficulty at bath time, struggling to get dressed in the morning and bedtime was an ORDEAL!

It was causing stress in their marriage, their social life, and feeling like a failure as a Mom. This is where I meet most of my clients. Feeling lost. 
Relying on helpful family members sharing antidotal stories of their friends neighbors niece who’s son also  was struggling and this is what they did. Reading articles of tips and tricks trying to implement them with little success. Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, lonely and just wanting things to make sense.

Teachers, friends, family, articles all have the best of intentions- but what’s missing is working to meet you where you are, listen to where you wanna go, and help you get there!

Working to just get some clarity, support and a pivot in the right direction is the work I do.

Parenting is exhausting, hard and stressful- especially when children and craving things you just don’t know how to give.

I will say it again- and will never stop saying it. I work with parents who are AMAZING, dedicated, strong and ready to like their children again.

So, I ask- a year from now, where will you be?
“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ― Paulo Coelho

I don’t work with bad parents. I work with parents who are incredibly brave, vulnerable and courageous- ready to shift how they are feeling about themselves so they can show up in their family different.

I have worked with over 200 parents- more if you include my years of teaching and babysitting, and something the parents I’ve worked with all have as a connector- is a strong feeling of not being good enough.

When we believe we are not enough- we treat our children like they are not enough.

But when we come from the belief that we show up doing our best- we trust that our children are too.

Sometimes our best is high quality- sometimes our best is not. Due to a taxed bandwidth and missing skill. But trusting that in that moment- that we operate from our best place is how we begin to shift from judgement to compassion.

Compassion is the trap door to freedom.

We were all born with perfection and worthiness. Taking in our entire environment and creating stories to live and govern ourselves by. Some of those stories stay with us and get passed down from generation to generation.

What might happen when we rewrite the stories we tell ourselves? What might happen to our families when we rewrite those scripts.

How I show up to rewrite my own script and story has been to write a daily love note to my inner bully. Showing up for her everyday to help write about the shadow I’m exploring and helping to rescript my own tiny prince.

When we start to shift our inner beliefs magic occurs, the magic of shifting how we see the outer world.

Have you watching #russiandoll on #netflix? This is a similar feeling. Peeling back the layers, playing out the different storylines and working to rescript and learn from them.
“But it’s so hard!” Change is hard. And uncomfortable.

But so are reoccurring tantrums, the feelings of eggshells, holding your breath until nap time, and going to bed feeling like you aren’t enough.

Living day to day with this feelings some might say is the “struggle of parenting”. But I want to share that you don’t have to choose that struggle, that working with a coach can help teach new tools to ditch that struggle and lean into actually enjoying your children.

This is exactly what I have the pure privilege of doing each and every day in my business. Working with parents to ditch the lingering effects from feelings of overwhelm, resentment, anger and emotional exhaustion.

Holding space to work on the hard parts of parenting. The parts that can feel never ending and only worsening. These shadow parts are the parts I work with.

This week I wrapped up with an amazing Mom. Working to hold limits and boundaries and empower choices that make the feelings of dread and tension ever present in your home.

If you find yourself nodding and asking “How can I feel like this?” Perhaps it’s time to reach out! I have openings in my client schedule to welcome in a new family!
No one is born a bully.

Babies are not thinking “Today I’m going to spread hate and hurt.” Nope, doesn’t happen that way. We are programmed. We are trained. We are conditioned through our life experiences and the responses from the trusted adults around us.

That’s how we learn how to show up in the world. “How our kids make sense of their young lives is not only about what happens to them but also about how their parents, teachers and others respond.”- The Whole Brain Child

This week in Richmond there was a dog, Tommie, that was found chained to a fence and lit on fire. Is was a disgusting choice that a man made. The whole city rallied around this dog, and it brought out this strong connection to us all. Unfortunately, Tommie did not survive. He passed peacefully after having his bandages changed. He passed in comfort and surrounded with love.

When Tommie passed, there was natural outrage. “How can someone do such a thing?”, “What a monster, coward, vile human being.”, “What kind of person does such a thing?!” Well, I have a strong feeling I know the type of person who does such a thing. A person who is hurting. A person who most likely was feeling powerless and frustrated in their own life and found it in hurting another. A person who felt feelings he didn’t know how to handle, process and move through appropriately- making choices that changed his life and Tommie’s life.

Whenever I see stories like this I just think “This is all totally avoidable!” Learning how to process the negative emotions and feelings is what changes this. Having different programming and conditioning changes this.

But before any change can happen- the first change must come from us. The programmers and conditioners. The people who are teaching children how to respond to the events in their lives.

It requires us to look at our shadows and learn how to make sense of the world around us.

It requires us to look for healthy ways to travel through anger and hurt- and stop relying on the tales of “if I give it more time” or “but they’re a good kid”. Time and goodness are the two biggest myths.

Time is an accelerator and there is goodness in all of us.
When we stop looking outward for the solution, and work on the inward, magic occurs. “But she makes me so mad!”
“He’s doing this to me.”
“My partner has to be on the same page.”
“They just don’t get it.” These are all signs that we are trying to control the people around us. And when we place our power there- we will always be let down.

Focus inward, what can YOU do?

In the theme of universal tasks- where is the universe presenting you with opportunities to grow? Are you rising to the challenge?

Parents are super heroes. Choosing to bring in another human in your home and waking up to that task each and everyday is nothing short of super human!

This week I spent so much time around amazingly inspiring Moms doubting their greatness, second guessing their choices, hoping they are being good.

Something I shared with them and I’ll share with you: be responsible for the effort, not the outcome.

Show up knowing you’re doing your best. You’re going to forget, you’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to have off days- but if you’re focused on doing your best you can quickly forgive yourself and reconnect.

In life there are always mistakes, negative feelings, frustrations- we can not avoid them. We will grow MORE frustrated, angry and resentful trying to prevent those from happening.

Learning how to move through those moments and reconnect is the magic.

I’ve been learning this lesson through meditations. The misconception of meditation is that you clear your mind and think of NOTHING. Well, that’s not really realistic. But learning how to detach from the MANY RACING thoughts is possible- with practice.

Today in my stories I share with you how the universe had my back through this process. With the help of release and an otter.

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