Have I told you lately, that I love you?
So, I've decided to take a pivot in how I connect to you and share my offerings and events. I've decided that I will be popping in a little love note each Friday- just a boost of encouragement and compassion
I want to share with you WHY behind this practice.
(This email ended up being longer than I thought- but trust me, it's worth it. They all won't be so long.)
Six months ago, while going through the first launch of How to Build Your Kind Family (doors opening again in April)- I recieved a heavy dose of ridicule. Someone, who I know, decided to share my business into a private Facebook Group and that group started bashing me and my business
That group went on to create a separate private group- where they collected 3700 people who spent their time sharing my social media posts and sending me harassing emails. (I wish I was joking. But I promise there's a reason why I'm sharing this story)
They criticized my weight, my philosophy, my credentials, and my platform. When it happened initially, I was in shock, I took their words to heart. And it hurt. I started thinking "Am I doing something wrong?", "Nobody needs this work", "This is doing more harm than good." It was a pretty low place.
I just felt like giving up. True story, I even applied for a job at Capital One. I gave them a virtual tour of my home office. I did all of this without even talking to Jason about it. I was just feeling low, lost, and sad.
I was offered the job
When I got the email I finally had to tell Jason,
"Hey...uh...so...I did this thing. What do you think I should do? It would be making a lot of changes, but would mean some consistency and some monetary stability."
And this is what he said:
"MegAnne, if you feel like this is the right move, do it. But what I predict is that you're running away from something and when you feel frustrated at Capital One, you will want to start your own business. So wouldn't it make more sense to just stick this out."
I am really glad he said those words.
Show up, do the work, and just keep going.
So I did, instead of quitting and running away- I actually invested in a group mastermind program and was introduced to a pretty heavy mindset reset, helping me to rewrite those limiting beliefs. Giving me the tools and support I needed. The beliefs I was holding on to of "I'm not worthy", "This won't work" and "You're not meant to do this." I started journaling, meditating, and rewriting the beliefs to "I am strong and worthy", "I was born to do this work.". "I am exactly where I'm meant to be."
Over and over again I would sit in this space. Showing up for me.
Almost instantly started to see the fruits of my labor. I began to fall in love with myself again and started showing up and getting louder with my vision. And started attracting amazing clients wanting to work with me and join my program. It felt like magic.
Just before the New Year, I went away on a retreat. During this retreat, I did a workshop called the mindful canvas. The facilitator, Kaira Boston, lead us through writing out what we wish to leave in 2018 on canvas, worked us through a guided meditation, and then invited us to use paint and decorations to create a beautiful work of art.
What I uncovered in that afternoon, still gives me goosebumps. I wrote a letter to my bullies. In that letter, I screamed at them for hurting me. I chastised them for their vile messages.
And I thanked them for helping me grow.
For helping to uncover my own inner bully, that voice telling me I'm not good enough and teaching me that instead of putting her in time-out and shaming her, I needed to welcome her out and give her some love. Our initial reaction to someone hurting us is to retaliate, but all that does is engage in the revenge cycle. In order to break that cycle, we need to validate our feelings while offering love and compassion.
And it got me thinking, so often we think to be positive means to always be happy and perfect. I've even heard myself saying things like "Don't worry, it's not that big of a deal.", "Just think happy thoughts", "Be the good person." To me that feels like putting the bully in time out. And trust me, time out never works like we think it works.
So instead, it was time to flip the script and do a practice of embracing her and giving her some love.
January 1, I started writing myself a daily love note. I write it to MegAnne, with the intention that it's a letter to my inner bully. I write her a note sharing that she is safe, worthy and loved. I talk about the mistakes I've made and how to look at them with the lens of research and data. Growing and learning from them.
I've decided to extend this to you. This idea of a weekly love note just sharing and expressing some love to you and maybe you're inner bully as well. Because living is exhausting and difficult. And living while raising children is EVEN MORE exhausting. I've tried the restriction, punishment and shame game- and it doesn't work. Really what we could all use is a healthy dose of love!
If you've had a hard week, month or year- I am here to share that you are seen, valid, and worthy and I am here to hold space to help you grow.
Cheers to us showing up, doing the work, and loving our families. And if you're looking for ways to help the bully in your household- either child or adult, HIT REPLY and let's chat. The revenge cycle won't stop until we learn how to show up differently.
And with that I hope you all are staying warm and being kind
All my love,
P.S. This week I launched a YouTube Channel- I post new videos three times a week, and will weave them into the weekly love notes. If YouTube is your thing, come check me out here: Watch and Subscribe.
P.P.P.S. If you're in RVA I still will be holding LIVE conversations every second Tuesday 6:30-7:30 pm at Ellwood Thompson's!