This is long, but you'll want to read to the end, I promise!**
Teaser: free mini-course on solving the mystery of the misbehavior, 50% off the less yelling challenge, and last call for private coaching clients.
"Everyone has junk in their trunk. It's more about how you handle your junk."- Clark, my Father-in-Law
This has been a wonderful birthday.
I am currently on the phone talking to my FIL about life. (WHAT?!) He says to me: "You are a magical person MegAnne. You're teaching people better ways to deal with the junk." Total jaw dropping surprise! A wonderful birthday gift. And I share as proof that this shit works.
The "shit" I refer to is the work of showing up, holding boundaries, allowing choice, and holding people accountable with consequences. Taking the punitive punishment out of the equation and focusing on the relationship. It can feel like magic. Understanding the role that emotions play and how to address all the emotions with love and kindness is often thought as easy- but I am here to tell you, it is the work of warriors.
Entering into a new year is always quite emotional to me. But this year is something new for me- I have been feeling excited and strong. My practice of this work is growing stronger and I have been working really hard to address my inner bully through my daily love notes. Offering her tender moments of love and kindness each day for the mistakes she makes.
Along with my own love notes, I've been getting so many great testimonials this week- client breakthroughs and members of How to Build Your Kind Family (Opening again in April) having wins- but there have been two that really stand out that I want to share with you today. And I chose these two to share because they have come from clients that have been doing the work for about a year.
The first I share from a Mom of 2 young boys. Who came to me not because her children were "out of control" but because of her own anger and resentment she felt when around them. The feeling of burned out and exhaustion and having the realization that working with a parent coach could help her build the tools and release the pressure she was putting on herself.
"I had a powerful thought the other day. The work of teaching how to navigate situations, routines, emotions aren’t barriers to cross to get to an ideal parent-child relationship. It IS the relationship. It may seem obvious, but I just recognized it. It has changed my perspective on these moments that require my leadership. Every time my child struggles, it’s an opportunity to parent. I’ve even found myself getting excited about these difficult moments (which I don’t expect will be the case every time, but I just really am embracing this new perspective). Hard moments=relationship builders."
Wow. This was such a powerful aha. Unlocking that those power struggles and tantrums are moments to show up for your children, not to fix and rescue but help build the coping tools, connection and ultimately the resilience to move through them together. When we chatted this week in class, she shared "It's been such a great week, I have just felt a release.
I still get goosebumps reading that. Imagine if we all were to look at our relationships with that perspective. The tough moments are the relationship builder moments. If you follow Brene Brown, she describes these moments as the trust moments. Tiny moments that accumulate to building a healthy foundation.
The second comes from a Mom of a 4 year old daughter. She shares of a WIN where she was able to practice knowing when her lid was flipped and choosing to respond a bit differently:
"Oh! I was thinking of you and wanted to share. On Saturday I took Zo to a bday party. Arrived and found out with 3 other parents that we were all at the wrong location. One parent said, we’re supposed to be at the one by the airport. I drove off to the side to figure out where that was, and Zoey was asking questions, and I wasn’t responding bc I was trying to figure out how to get her there. I wanted to shout, be quiet so I can figure this out!!!! My own lid was flipped because I was annoyed and mad that I had to drive elsewhere. I took a deep breath and instead said, Zoey, I’m stressed out (realized belatedly she didn’t quite understand stressed), because I don’t know where I’m driving in the rain to get you to Jackson’s party. It would help me if you could please not ask me questions and stay quiet so I can get you to the party. Will that work? And for 25 min while I drove she didn’t say a peep. Then I turned out I was at the wrong airport (Richmond vs. chesterfield). I had to tell her I
made a mistake and I was sorry. She was understandably upset and so was I! We cried together and held hands as I drove us back home. We talked about how it felt and were able to stop crying by the time we got home. It felt good to recognize my own flipped lid and ask for patience. Yeah, it was really hard finding the words to say what I needed in the moment. Like, pushing those feelings aside in a literal storm, and wow, the calm was really there once I was able to."
I share these stories unedited because they are just that powerful. Choosing to practice the skills I talk about and lean into the work required to grow together!
This. Is. Why. I. Do. What. I. Do.
For moments like this. Cheering on people learning how to deal with the junk in healthier, stronger, less lonely ways.
If you're reading these stories and wanting to create your own, I want to share 3 ways to start the work of warriors.
Join my mini-course: "Solving the Mystery of Your Child's Misbehavior" all month long we will take a journey in understanding the role of our emotions and practicing simple strategies to implement in those difficult moments. First week: POWER and ANGER, Second week: ATTENTION and ANNOYANCE, Third week: REVENGE and HURT, and ending March with ASSUMED INADEQUACY and FEELING HOPELESS.
For $147: Join 5 Days to Less Yelling Challenge (https://bekindcoaching.podia.com/5-days-to-less-yelling-challenge) ! I moved it over to a new site and if you join this weekend using code "MAYOONTHESUB" You'll receive 50% off! (SAVE $73.50!!!) Benefits to joining, is that they will have first dibs at registering for How to Build Your Kind Family EARLY!!! And credit the course price! So now's a GREAT time to join this!
For a larger investment: LAST CALL FOR PRIVATE CLIENTS! I love working with clients in groups- and will be moving my entire business into that model. So with that announcement- I share that March 31, 2019 will be the last I will be offering private 1:1 coaching to NEW clients. Once you're in my hive you are eligible for "Coaching Tune Ups" (Aptly named that by Rad Dad Phil) but there will be no more ways to work privately from the start with me. So if you've been on the fence- Time to join now!
Okay, that's all for now. Thank you for being part of my hive and I am so excited to be growing and expanding and working with more and more amazing parents!
Love to all,
JOIN THE CHALLENGE!
P.S. If you skipped to the end I'm running a free mini-course starting Monday, promo'ing 5 Days to Less Yelling Challenge for 50% off, and having a LAST CALL for PRIVATE CLIENTS!
P.P.S. Feel free to hit reply and share with me your favorite birthday memory!