“Hey friend! Just making sure we’re still on for podcasting!”
“OMG!! It totally slipped my mind! I had it in for Sunday. I am so sorry. Can we push it back a smidge - I'm in Carytown and will need to head home and pick up my things. Oh I am sorry I made a mistake.”
“No sweat! I’ll let Lily know!”
Ugh, this is a real text exchange that happened last weekend.
Another appointment I missed, and this time it was painful.
Jason and I had gotten into a pretty nasty disagreement that the morning. I became sucked into the vortex of ungroundedness, totally distracted by working to reconnect with my husband. As I result, I missed a pretty important appointment with my 6 year-old Podcast co-host, Lily. (The Lily and MegAnne Show is coming soon! A special podcast where Lily and I chit chat about life and stuff, we read books, talk about feelings, and work through difficult moments together - just sharing life for a bit together!)
In missing this one appointment I felt the huge weight of my consequences. I knew I did NOT want to feel that way anymore. It was time for me to come face to face with my lack of organization and severe procrastination. I was disillusioned in believing it would MAGICALLY change without effort from me.
But this gave me a huge wake up call: I felt entirely inadequate, but I realized if I wanted it to change I needed to be the MAGIC! My disorganization and procrastination was literally costing me my dream. So, I had an honest talk with myself, set a clear intention, and took MASSIVE ACTION! I want to share with you the steps I took and hope that YOU can not only help keep me accountable in my growth but learn how to bypass the failures I made and move right into growth of your own!
judgement: noun: a misfortune or calamity viewed as a divine punishment
The first step in creating massive action was to have a heart-to-heart with myself. I needed to be honest with myself of where I was really. Showing up and looking in the mirror is not an easy process.
Cue Michael Jackson:
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
I took a look into the shadows and worked hard to tame my inner bully. She tends to creep out when I make a mistake. “UGH, of course - you did it AGAIN! What a dummy.” My deep desire for perfection, high quality, and praise was actually creating a HUGE wall of overwhelm causing me to totally freeze. My lower brain was tripped and in this situation I was frozen. I needed to show myself some love and establish my inner sense of safety. “MegAnne, you made a mistake and its okay. Take a moment, breathe, and take back control of your future. You can do this! One step at a time.”
Paint the Picture
visualize: verb: form a mental image of; imagine
The next step in this process was to quiet down and decide what I wanted future MegAnne to look like. I needed to visualize everything in DETAIL! In order to know what I want to create I first need to know what it looks like and feels like. What did I want the next chapter for me to be like?
Easy: I want to be a calm, organized, productive, loving business owner who empowers parents to be the awesome superheroes of their family. I want to feel sexy, healthy, and strong. I want to connect to my husband and empower him to reach his goals. I want to be confident in my gifts and show gratitude to all my opportunities daily. I want to grow my confidence and show up daily to help inspire more people to love themselves and their families.
I recently did a guided activity that helped articulate this specific exercise. It came from my business mentor, Rachael Cook. I meditated and journaled about my core desired feelings for my life. Then I answered the following prompts:
Who I need to become to feel this way:
New habits I need to START:
Existing habits I need to EXPAND:
Poor habits I need to STOP:
**Disclaimer: Do this activity with an open heart and brutal honesty. I had done this activity before, many times before actually, and a mistake I made was rushing through it to get the check mark of “being done.” This time, I worked through these prompts SLOWLY and really sat with these core, desired feelings.
Create Action Steps
action: noun: the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim
This step is where I needed to be grounded and focused with building a sustainable routine. For me, I needed to refocus on the PROCESS of building this new MegAnne. It was about showing her forgiveness when making mistakes, showing love when feeling hurt, and slowing down to really take time to practice.
I wrote down each habit upgrade I wanted to make. I committed to a small action step that I could realistically do! (Again, being honest) I reminded myself of my WHY behind the change. And I have brought in support and encouragement to help me stay on track. I have set alarms, dusted off my calendar, and shared my intentions with my trusted mentors.
practice: noun: the actual application or use of an idea, belief, or method as opposed to theories about such application or use
Mistakes still happen. I have missed appointments, felt overwhelmed and disorganized. Now, when those things happen, I remind myself that this is a PROCESS not a PRODUCT.
The irony is that I provide this perspective for my parent coaching clients. I empathize and support their change with tiny wins. I say DAILY “It’s the process; mindset change is a HUGE win. Enjoy the tiny micro-movements, because they WILL add up.” Yet I still found myself so action oriented in my own process that I was blowing past my own tiny steps.
Over the past week I focused on staying in forward action. I fought through the urge to numb and distract, reminding myself I was safe and able. Calming my lower brain. Actively working to shift into my higher level thinking. Engaging strategies to work from my prefrontal cortex. And celebrating my tiny, tiny wins.
In the past week, I’ve been focused on this process. Actively grounding myself through the journey. I am please to share I’ve been making tiny steps forward. It’s certainly not perfect, easy, or without mistakes. But it’s no longer frozen, hidden and stagnant.
I am not there YET, but if I procrastinate and freeze I will NEVER get there. I am no longer being cruel to myself for not being what/who/where I want to be yet. YET! Such a powerful word.
yet: adverb: referring to something that will or may happen in the future
“Hey, yesterday you shared you were on Step 0, today you said Step 1. That means tomorrow you will most likely be on Step 2! Keep on taking those steps.”
- Jason, after we went out for our first family walk/run with Jude Sunday morning.