So, I wanted to share with you something amazing that happened to me, recently. I just finished reading (well listening, thank you audible) to Gabby Bernstein's The Universe has Your Back. If you are looking for a book to help you through a particularly stressful chapter of life, this is a fabulous book to start with. As I was knee deep preparing for my move at the end of the month, this book was playing in the background, to help me stay tapped into my woo side.
The afternoon that I finished the book, I was decompressing through all the huge shifts that were occurring in my life. I held space to process through this.
Move, business, clients, work, growth, marriage, house, stress...and on and on and on.
It was becoming a bit overwhelming, all of it. So, I tried to tune it all out by flipping through Facebook. Little did I know that I could not escape the universal message that I was intended to hear! While scrolling, I came by friend Avian's blog titled "I fell off the wagon...BIG TIME" and instantly clicked to read.
Man, I needed this blog. I needed it just like I needed Seo's blog on forgiveness. I needed to know the steps on how to process through the feelings of overwhelm I was feeling. On Facebook she captioned "Just in case anyone else needs this, too." and I wrote back "AVIAN!!! I NEEDED IT IN A BIG BIG WAY!"
I hope the people who need to hear this finds it just as helpful.
I fell off the wagon...BIG TIME!
March 30, 2018
You are awesomely gliding through life, everything falls into place, the lights are all green on the way to work, but who cares because you are always on time. You have it all together and your every day is always pretty smooth with no bumps in your road. Well, that was a good joke; back to reality now!
Most people aren't that fortunate to have EVERYTHING all together all the time. Even the best of the best, face what we organizers call situational disorganization. Situational disorganization happens when something in life throws off your normal habits and routine. It could be as simple as a change at work, unexpectedly nursing a sick child or as massive as becoming a new parent or a death in the family. Regardless of what it is, that throws you off, getting back to the "normal" you can be tough.
Recently, my family has undergone some major changes pertaining to our living arrangements and that's what really got me thinking about what happens to us when we hit that bump in the road and it knocks us off the life management wagon. First of all, do we really know what the signs are so we can acknowledge the fall? Here are some things to watch out for:
1. Forgetfulness. You're making lunch for the kids and walk away and completely forget to put away the mayo or you were reminded to call a client back about five minutes ago and it somehow slipped through the cracks again. Your brain can only hold so much before it starts to delete things from your short and long-term memory. During the time between the event that caused the "fall" and the moment you decide to get up from it, things get neglected and start to pile up for you. All that overflow is just going to start falling off of the pile, all together, which is what causes the forgetfulness.
2. A heightened sense of urgency in all tasks. You've fallen and now you're running to catch back up to the wagon. Feeling as if everything needs to be done hastily, regardless of if you are pressed for time, is a reaction to mental clutter and being overwhelmed. You may also be a little snappy or impatient with others due to this need to do everything quickly.
3. Failing to complete normal self-care routines. I know none of you have done this, but it is frequently the first thing to go; showering regularly. You race through your day and end up being way too tired to do anything at the end of it, but crash out on your pillow. This most definitely says that there is some mismanagement of time going on. Regularly neglecting these self-care tasks over a longer span of time is usually a sign of depression, though, and I urge anyone suffering from depression-like symptoms to seek mental health support.
4. Fatigue. Who has time to sleep when you're chasing that unmanned wagon full of everything that used to be your "normal"? Being tired all the time is not normal for sure. When you aren't getting enough sleep your brain can't properly recharge. Your brain is your command center, and if the little people in your command center aren't a hundred percent, everything else about your body will start to fall short of its potential. Energy drinks aren't the answer, in this case, good old fashioned rest, meditation or a midday nap is the key!
Now that we've identified some sure-fire signs that you may be chasing the wagon instead of riding it, let's talk about how to get up and get back in control of those reins. I won't lie to you, it isn't always an easy process, but it can be done, and lots of people have done it. I am one of them. It's not rocket science, but trust me it works.
Here's the plan:
1. Brain dump. In order to actually get moving again, you have to mentally lighten the load a little first. I call this a brain dump. You can either write or type this out, but I feel writing it is most therapeutic. You are going to need to make a list of every thought that comes to mind for a minimum of 30 minutes or until there are no more new thoughts. Then you will dissect this list of randomness, and put it into two major categories: "things I can control" and "things I cannot control". The things you can control will ultimately the action plan or to-do list. The things you can't control can be worked through with a source of counsel or with the people they involve as needed. They can also be very purposefully crossed out, balled up and burned if that sort of thing helps to cleanse you emotionally. Just be safe while doing it!
2. Ask for help. Now that you have your trusty rusty list of things you need to do, you will need to enlist some help from the people you have in your circle. You will need help! The reason you got here is because you didn't have anyone on duty to spot you when you fell off the life management wagon. If you have a hard time asking for help from friends, hire someone who can help with those tasks. Being able to utilize other's energy and efforts during this time will be the key to getting back to your normal faster, and most times we are faced with a time sensitive recovery. As much of your list as can be delegated, should be so that you can focus your efforts on the things no one else can do for you.
3. Embrace it! One of the hardest parts about this whole getting up part, is that you are acknowledging that you fell...you fell short...you weren't perfect. No matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect. We all make mistakes, and that is the most beautiful part about life in my opinion. We are all constantly growing and changing and getting better.
Just because you fell today doesn't mean that you don't try to keep going. It just means you have been given the chance to look at who you are from a new perspective, and perspective is everything! Use this time to mend, bend, break, the old you and routine. Analyze it and make sure that it is in fact what you want to go back to.
Sometimes we find a way better wagon when we get kicked out of our "normal" one, and it could be empowering to embrace the new normal. Love it, feel every moment of it, no matter how hard it may be because it's yours, and you are awesome!
Stay getting up!
The next morning, I woke up feeling empowered to take charge of my life, business, and upcoming move! Avian had addressed all my feelings and shifted them towards empowering small steps that I can take! THANK YOU AVIAN!!!
I came to a huge AHA when I woke up the next morning. Since starting online classes, I have really expanded my reach- now being connected to families in New York, California, Maine, Canada, and Missouri!!! I have realized that I need to nurture myself and my systems. I see where I am going and I am so excited to get there- but need to make sure that I am prepared for the growth. I want to set myself and my business up for success.
With that realization I have decided that I will be closing my doors to new clients over the summer. I will be focusing on content delivery, blog post writing, and of course Instagram! But will be taking time to really build a strong client experience, new packages, and a whole new website! I will start welcoming in clients and students in the Fall! I am so EXCITED for this growth in my business.
Now, time to rest, nurture and grow!